You should say No more often.

Also today's struggles, a thought for twentysomethings, and a verse to remember.

Hi guys,

Hope you are doing well. I’m okay, Alhamdulillah.

I have spent several hours in front of my screen today. I left writing for wozzup, moved to YouTube, left my bed for my workspace, returned to the bed, went back to the desk, and I am still struggling with this newsletter. 😂

On some days, the stories are clear in my head, the words string together perfectly, and I genuinely enjoy creating content. Today is not one of those days. Today is one of the days when my mind is on completing HIMYM one more time before Netflix pulls it on the 31st, finally finishing Tony Hsieh’s book, and random random things.

I have even struggled to create a picture of what I’m writing about. I have changed the title two times already. Maybe I will change it once more. These things happen.

So I have decided to just show up. Not so much about whether the newsletter is good or great or mediocre, just about keeping my head up and creating something anyway. I shall share today’s newsletter in three progressively smaller bites. An argument to filter your interactions, a thought from one of my favourite books, and a verse to remember.

Leggo.

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A few years ago, I chased Jason Njoku (Founder & CEO, IrokoTV) out of a conference hall in Victoria Island. He had just finished giving a speech and was on his way out. There were about seven of us trying to catch him for a quick chat. Jason saw us, smiled, and kept walking.

‘Guys I am in a hurry. I’m only talking to people who use Iroko TV. If you don’t, sorry’.

Disappointed, about three of us stopped following. The remaining four pressed on.

‘Open your app and show me.’

Two of the four had lied apparently, so only two people remained to have a conversation with Jason. This happened a long time ago, but I have never forgotten it. Jason could have chosen to be a ‘nice guy’ and spent several minutes of his time in conversations with each of us. But time is super valuable, and it was wise of him to filter the group, ensuring that he only spent time with the people who were genuinely invested in his company.

This is a lesson I am still trying to learn today. Naturally anti-confrontational and perpetually in search of opportunity, I many times behave like Jim Carrey in Yes Man, agreeing to the bulk of invites x requests that come my way. As a young person trying to succeed (whatever that means), there is a tendency to think every new interaction might be the key to unlock something new.

‘Free Digital Marketing class? Omo I gats run am’

‘Yeah, I can volunteer for Save Our Kids this Saturday. Just 3 hours abi? No problem’

‘Writers Club Meeting? Every Friday at 7pm? Sure sure, sign me up’

But they are not. The vast majority of the things that come our way are random requests for time with no extra value. I am not saying we should become self-absorbed individuals who do not engage with the community, help others, or involve in projects unless there is personal gain. I’m saying we should prioritize.

There will always be dozens of organizations that need support, multiple ideas worth working on, and tons of people with whom it would be great to spend some time. But you have to concentrate on what is most important. Warren Buffet once said, “the difference between successful people and really successful people is that the really successful people say no to almost everything.”

Image from Pinterest

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For many of the people who have asked me to recommend a book this year, one of my favourites has been The Defining Decade - why your twenties matter and how to make the most of them by Dr. Meg Jay. She uses logic, data, and her experience as a psychologist to share interesting perspectives on building careers and relationships in your twenties.

Small snippet below.

“What’s the lottery question?”, I asked.

“You know,” Ian continued, “it’s when you ask yourself what you would do with your life if you won the lottery. Then you know what you really want to do.”

“That’s not the right question,” I countered.

“That’s not about reality. The lottery question might get you thinking about what you would do if talent and money didn’t matter. But they do.”

“The question twentysomethings need to ask themselves is what they would do with their lives if they didn’t win the lottery. What might you be able to do well enough to support the life you want?”

“And what might you enjoy enough that you won’t mind working at it in some form or another for years to come?”

Read the book. You’re welcome :)

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Many of us are hoping, praying, or working for something. I saw these verses a few days ago and found them reassuring. Hopefully you do too.

وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مَخْرَجًا - وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ ۚ وَمَنْ يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ بَالِغُ أَمْرِهِ ۚ قَدْ جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدْرً

And whoever fears Allah, He will make for him a way out. And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things. - Chapter 65, verses 2 to 3

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If you found this newsletter useful, please share it with your friends. Have them read it and subscribe. I like to share personal stories and life lessons I am learning. They will be super random, but common themes will include business, personal development, human relationships, and Islam.

Gracias, and see you around.

Hameed

** Author’s note: Our small community grew in the last week by 37 people! There are currently 805 people subscribed to this newsletter. With 10 days to go in 2020, we need one last push to achieve 1000 subscribers! Please subscribe and share with your family and friends.

Grazie ragazzi! 😀