What do Tunde Fowler and Steven Spielberg have in common?

If you play long-term games with short-term people, you will always end up disappointed.

Hi guys,

Hope you are well. I’m doing okay, Alhamdulillah.

I write this at 5:11 am on Sunday morning, having come to terms with the news that Ramadan is indeed 30 days this year. 😅

While I was firmly in the camp of those hoping to celebrate Eid today, I am now (somewhat) glad about the extra day as it is ultimately a blessing from Allah, for whoever is able to take advantage.

May He accept it from us as ibaadah. Ameen. 💫

—————

On Friday, I had a catchup call with one of my favorite people on earth. It had been a while since we discussed in detail, and we ended up spending over 1.5 hours on the phone. When I think about it, this guy is someone I see in my future, no matter what variation of the future it is.

I am content with a friendship like this, knowing that both our intentions are pure and that when push comes to shove, we will be there to support each other. On the flip side, I recently had another interaction with someone else that caused me a lot of stress. I left our conversation thinking, ‘I would be so glad if I never have to interact with her again.’

Now I do not pretend to be a saint or some model of friendship (as there are many people all too aware of my shortcomings), but I realized that the reason for my irritation with the second person was that their entire approach was self-centered and short-term i.e. How can I get the most value for myself out of this?

Even more, I was mentally kicking myself because I should have known it previously. I had seen the warning signals of short-termism but chose to ignore them. Having had cause to think about this in more detail, I have come to the same conclusion as many wiser people before me.

‘If you want peace of mind in your business and relationships, play long-term games with long-term people.’

I think all our interactions fall into one of four categories. If we were to plot a matrix of the outcomes for our business and relationship interactions by the length of games played, it would look something like this.

Scenario 1: Short-term vs short-term game

You: Short-term approach to the relationship. You do not have any particular interest in interacting with the other person in the future.

Person A: Short-term approach. Does not care for your happiness in the long term.

The outcome of this scenario is temporary one-upmanship. One of you might ‘win’ today, but it will likely be at the expense of the other person and there is no assurance of ‘winning’ tomorrow.

For example, let’s assume you were on a trip and stopped at a small market to buy a bag of garri. Let us also assume that the market is in a very small village, where everybody knows everybody. You have no intention of stopping by this village again and the garri seller (who can tell you are a traveller) has no intention of you becoming a long-term customer.

What are you both incentivized to do?

You: Incentivized to pay with fake (or torn) banknotes. You will get your much-needed garri for free and the seller will only realize it after you have zoomed off.

Garri seller: Incentivized to put some sand at the bottom of the sack of garri. You will probably realize it after several weeks of consumption, and will likely be too far away to do anything about it.

In a scenario where both parties are playing short-term games, one person will get one over the other. But should the relationship continue, then the other person will be prepared to do the same (or worse), ensuring that neither party derives long-term fulfillment.

Scenario 2: Short-term vs long-term game

You: Short-term

Person A: Long-term

A classic example is many of the boyfriend and girlfriend relationships that happen in university.

Let’s say you (not actually you, my newsletter people are long-term people? 😉) are currently in 300L at a Nigerian university. That sweet spot where you are young enough to not have the worries of final year students but old enough to know wetin dey sup.

Somehow somehow, you get to meet Kemi, a 100L student. Kemi reallyyyy likes you and is thinking of dating for the next 4 years, then marriage after school, etc. You like her too, but you’re not ready to think about such things. You just want to go with the flow for now.

While Kemi is busy telling her sister, Aunty, and grandma at home that she has found husband, you haven’t even told your guys you’re in a relationship.

When her parents come to school for her matriculation, they even bring provisions for you. You sef chop am, you reason sey this life no bad at all. 😂😂

You know what is going on abi?

Exploitation.

It is only a matter of time before Kemi realizes that you never had the same intentions as her and had been stringing her all along. Eventually, she will decide that Yoruba men deserve wickedness and do the exact same thing to Henny in 3 years time. 😆

Summary: In a scenario where you’re playing a short-term game and the other person is playing a long-term game, you’re probably exploiting them. Check yourself.

Scenario 3: Long-term vs short-term game

You: Long-term

Person A: Short-term

A classic example here is working with a large number of Nigerian startups.

Let’s say you are a young person with some valuable experience in a specific skill (think front-end web development, copywriting, social media marketing, etc). It is only a matter of time before an aspire-to-perspire Stephen Durojaiye Jobs reaches out to you to come and ‘build the future’. 😂

SDJ might even sell you his idea of becoming co-founder and scaling this business together around Africa and taking over the world! If you’re unfortunate enough to work for him, you will genuinely believe that this exciting FinTech or Agritech or EdTech problem is your life’s calling and gladly put in the effort as required.

You might even tolerate minor dissatisfaction and owed salaries as, after all, the mission will take 10+ years to actualize.

As time goes on, you will begin to realize the truth. 3 months, 6 months, 1 year later, there is still no documentation whatsoever that shows you as having some shares in the company. You might even later come across an ‘org chart’ while sorting through some finance docs that shows there already being a co-founder who works out of San Francisco and gets paid $15k monthly.

Na so eye dey take clear. SDJ never had any longer-term intentions for you. He saw you as what you were - cheap talent that never had other options.

Summary: If you play long-term games with short-term people, you will always end up disappointed.

Scenario 4: Long-term vs long-term game

You: Long-term

Person A: Long-term

In a scenario where you and your friend x business partner x boo are both playing long-term games, then you will find what many people look for. Fulfillment. As both of you are committed to supporting each other, mutual success is inevitable.

One of my favourite examples is the trio of Yemi Osinbajo, Tunde Fowler, and Ade Asekun.

Yemi Osinbajo, Tunde Fowler, Ade Asekun - Image from howng

** Pause. I am apolitical and have zero interest in endorsing PYO’s candidacy for Nigeria’s President. If I knew a similar story about Wike or El-Rufai, then I would use them as well.

I came across these pictures a few years ago, and it really made me think about what a commitment to long-term success and mutual support looks like. As at 1970, the three men pictured above were close friends at Igbobi College Yaba.

Many years later, they seem to have done well for themselves.

Yemi:

• Professor of Law

• Attorney General of Lagos State

• Vice President, Federal Republic of Nigeria

Tunde:

• CEO, Lagos State Internal Revenue Service

• Executive Chairman, Federal Inland Revenue Service (FIRS)

• Vice-Chairman, United Nations Committee of Experts on International Cooperation in Tax Matters

Ade:

• Group Head of Retail, UBA & Oceanic Banks

• Chairman, Wema Bank

• Nigerian Ambassador to Canada

Now, I do not necessarily agree with their actions inside or outside of the public and private office, but I think what the trio achieved is remarkable nonetheless. Another similar example I recently learnt about is the relationship between Francis Ford Coppola, George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and Martin Scorsese.

Back in the 1960s, these four young men were living in California and determined to someday disrupt the movie industry - Hollywood. They maintained a strong collaborative relationship, working together, advising and supporting each other in their innovative approaches to filmmaking, etc.

Much like the example above, they seem to have done very well for themselves in their directing careers.

Francis: The Godfather, Dracula, Frankenstein, The Great Gatsby

George: Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark

Martin: Wolf of Wall Street, Taxi Driver, The Irishman, Goodfellas

Steven: Jurassic Park, Jaws, Shrek, Transformers, Men in Black

Francis Ford Coppola, Martin Scorsese, Steven Spielberg, and George Lucas…Image from IMDB

This has been a long post. What am I trying to say?

If you have any interest whatsoever in success and/or fulfillment, play long-term games with long-term people. Everything else is to your detriment.

** Jara content:

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ مِنْ عَلَامَاتِ الْمُنَافِقِ ثَلَاثَةٌ وَإِنْ صَامَ وَصَلَّى وَزَعَمَ أَنَّهُ مُسْلِمٌ إِذَا حَدَّثَ كَذَبَ وَإِذَا وَعَدَ أَخْلَفَ وَإِذَا اؤْتُمِنَ خَانَ

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Among the signs of a hypocrite are three, even if he fasts and prays and claims to be a Muslim: when he speaks he lies, when he gives a promise he breaks it, and when he is trusted he betrays.”

Source: Sahih al-Bukhari 33, Muslim 59

Have a great week. ✨