The danger of seeking people's advice

"If you really want to be a prefect, my advice is to choose something else."

Hi guys,

Hope you are well. I’m doing okay, Alhamdulillah.

I write this at 10:51 am on a warm Sunday morning.

By the way, is it just me or is time absolutely speeding? Becauseee how are we in July?!

My personal lesson from this is to start anything you want to do now. If you want to start learning to code, going to the gym, a side hustle, Madrasah, or whatever else, just start now. If you keep postponing it, one day you’ll look back and be shocked at where all the time went.

Now, let’s get to today’s post.

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Back in secondary school, I really wanted to be a prefect.

I was not one of the ‘by force by fire’ people or among those who sucked up to teachers as part of their wish, but I wanted it all the same.

** side note: I am much the same today. I work x pray hard for the things I care about, but nothing is ever do or die. And I still get irritated by suck-ups. 🥴

For context, I went to a school (as you may know) with ~40 people in a class, and ~8 classes in a set. So in the JS1 set for example, 40 x 8 = 320 students. With an average of 320 students per set across JS1 to SS3, we had about 320 x 6 = 1920 students in total.

Of the ~2,000 students total, about 40 people were school prefects. So you see, prefectship was a thing of honor. What honor, you may wonder?

1. Having a super visible green and gold badge, and

2. The privilege to wear long-sleeve shirts! 🤣🤣

Cross-section of prefects in a random Nigerian school - Image from EIS

Anyhoo, the prefectship screening period came around, and I joined the vast majority of ~320 students in my set that pleaded their case to the interview panel on why they should be selected.

I was also somewhat strategic in my goal. After seeing the level of competition for starboy roles like ‘Head Boy' or ‘Assembly Prefect', I avoided those and instead ended up convincing the panel that I would be a great fit for 'Special Duties Prefect'. And they did appoint me, Alhamdulillah.

But this is not the end of the story.

About a year later, my good friend AA (who was in SS2 then) sought my advice on how to become a prefect. It went something like this.

AA: AbdulHameed, I want to be a prefect. Do you have any tips or advice?

Me: Nicee, you'll be a great prefect! Which one do you have in mind?

AA: Head Boy

Me: Oh wow. You sure?

AA: Yes, definitely Head Boy. Any advice?

Me: Bro tbh Head Boy is hard because so many people go for it. If you really want to be a prefect, my advice is to choose something else.

AA: Really?

Me: Yeah. I know some great people that ended up not becoming prefects at all because they were fixated on being Head Boy. But if you really want to, go for it.

AA: Thanks bro, I'll think about it.

A few months later, I heard that AA had become Head Boy!

In all honesty, I was both happy and surprised. I was surprised because I knew a few other people in his set that might have seemed a more likely choice by the teachers (part of why I had encouraged him to choose something else), but I was happy that my guy made it! 😃

There is a powerful lesson here. The people whose advice we seek (in this case me) will most probably color the advice with their biases, which may or may not be accurate. My advice (and I do appreciate the irony here 🌚) is to seek advice from not just one person, but instead multiple people so it is easier to screen out clear biases.

So if you really wanted to be 'Head Boy’ today, it is probably worth speaking to:

1. The outgoing Head Boy

2. An outgoing prefect who was not Head Boy

3. Someone who tried and failed to be Head Boy or any other prefect

4. A random person in your set that can evaluate your chances vs the competition

5. A teacher that knows you well and can advocate for you

And if what you hear from all of them does not make sense or align with your gut feeling, then throw all their advice in the bin. It worked for AA, so it can work for you too. 😁

** Jara content:

Abdur-Razzaq reported from Qatadah,

"Adam said, 'O Lord! What if I repented and sought forgiveness?'

Allah said, 'Then I will admit you into paradise.'

As for Satan, he did not ask for forgiveness, but for respite. Each of them was given what he asked for."

-Tafsir Ibn Kathir

Have a great week. ✨