Problem no dey finish.

On the never-ending nature of life and specificity in our aspirations.

Hi guys,

Hope you are well. I’m doing okay, Alhamdulillah.

I have spent a bit of time in the last few days thinking about how there’s always something new to worry about. If you randomly put on the TV and switched the channel to CNN, you woulf find one new crisis or the other. And this is constant, whether day or night, weekday or weekend, summer or winter.

Sometimes it’s a really big deal, like terrorist attacks or natural disasters. And sometimes it’s not particularly earth-shattering, with maybe discussions around communities running out of water or some interesting government policy.

The same thing with business news. On almost a daily basis, some company will always acquire some other company, some company somewhere will raise new funding, enter a new market, shut down an old factory, get a new CEO, do an IPO, or whatever else.

It really is never-ending. And the same is in our personal lives. We sometimes think ‘If only I had xyz, everything would be calmer after that…’

And xyz means different things to different people, whether a degree, a job, a japa opportunity, a marriage, a child, or a promotion. But eventually, you get what you wished for, and there’s suddenly a new xyz to worry about.

Your problem was a degree? Now you need a job.

Your problem was a job? Now you’re worried about promotion.

You wanted to japa? Now you’re worried about racism and social isolation.

You wanted a partner? Now you have arguments and mood swings every other day.

You wanted a child? Now you’re worried about their poor grades.

You wanted a promotion? Now you’re worried about impostor syndrome.

Problem just no dey finish.

What I have realized though, is that we have some semblance of control over two things - the general frame of problems we worry about, and the people we go through all of these with.

The problems a farmer has are very different from the problems of an investment banker. The problems of an artist are very different from the problems of a doctor. In choosing the paths we devote a big chunk of our lives to, so we choose a lot of our future problems.

Perhaps more important than choosing a path is choosing the people with whom we go on the journey. You might argue that there is little room for choice here, as we have no say in who we get as parents, siblings, or neighbors. And you would be right.

But we do have a say in:

1. choosing best friends, mentors, spouses, cofounders, business partners, etc.

2. changing the fundamentals of our relationships with the people we did not choose.

These little things make life so much more worth living.

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Be specific in your aspirations

I love people who are super specific.

With so much noise in today’s world, it is increasingly difficult to find people who know what they want. And I mean no harm to the numerous people too tired or uninformed to have a detailed picture of their goals in their head. I am many times one of them, after all.

But without using metrics or some other form of personalized descriptions, it’s impossible to get anything done. Let’s say person A asked for person B’s help in getting a job.

‘Hey man, I’m searching for a job.’

‘Haha aren’t we all?’

‘I dey serious bro. Been unemployed for 7 months now.’

‘Kai. Woah sorry bro.’

‘Nah no worries. Shey anything fit show from your end?’

‘Ahh I don’t know mehn, which kind of job?’

‘Anything’

‘Anything?’

‘I haven’t thought about it like that…so far there is good pay and e no go too stress person’

‘Lol ishe kekere, owo pupo. Dazz the dream.’

‘Let me know sha.’

‘Will do.’

Do you know the problem with this (imaginary) chat?

It’s very difficult to drive it forward. Because even if the person being asked had the capacity to help, where does he/she start from?

My guess it is is much more likely to stall and the asker finds a job somewhere else without the help of the ‘askee’.

To make the conversation much more actionable, it needs to be much better fleshed out. Some descriptive characteristics, you might say.

Alternate scenario.

‘Ahh I don’t know mehn, which kind of job?’

‘I stay in Ibadan so either something there or remote. Something between 60k and 100k while I’m doing NYSC. Also, I did a Digital Marketing course recently so would be nice to practice it. And startup culture abeg, I no wan wear suit.’

‘Nice nice. Anything else?’

‘Has to be somewhere they’ll retain me after NYSC. If na temporary or contract role, I no want. Nobody dey chase me for house.’

‘Makes sense. Digital Marketing with startups…let me ask one or two people and get back to you.’

What I like about this alternate conversation is that person A has a fairly clear idea of what he wants. And passing on that information to person B can only increase the chances of finding a job.

Image from Knowyourmeme

As you begin a new week, I hope you take the time to create a somewhat detailed description of whatever it is you are searching for. The vaguer your description is, the less likely it is that you find it. Illa man rahima llah.

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This is as good a week as any to subscribe and share.

Pretty please?

Hameed

** Jara content:

“When hiring, try to surround yourself with people who are good in addition to being good at what they do. Genuine decency—an instinct for fairness and openness and mutual respect—is a rarer commodity in business than it should be, and you should look for it in the people you hire and nurture it in the people who work for you.” - Bob Iger, The Ride of a Lifetime

Have a great week. 💫