On loss aversion, the fear of embarrassment, and why people fail.

If you have the ball in your hand with the buzzer going off, take the shot my dear.

Hello guys,

Hope you are doing well. I'm okay, Alhamdulillah.

My last few weeks have been tough tbh, there's so much going on. But yeah, all good. I'm writing this on Friday night (Saturday morning?) at 12:35 am since I can't seem to fall asleep. Hehe I used to be one of those people who entered dreamland the second their head touched a pillow. But I am increasingly spending 20+ minutes in bed checking the time again and again while begging sleep to take me.

Dr. Google says I should not eat, exercise, or do any active work for the last few hours of the day to fall asleep more easily. Paraps I shall look into it. Paraps.

By the way, some of you might have noticed that the last newsletter had some weird sentences at the bottom. It appears the version that was sent to your inbox was a draft I was still working on. Oro substack ti su mi.

I also genuinely appreciate those of you that care enough to point out the numerous errors in my newsletter, whether technical (like the delivery of the last newsletter), factual (like the other day when I kept writing Nigeria Customs Service instead of Nigeria Immigration Service), or grammatical (like the time I typed latter when I meant to type former).

Part of the trade-offs of a highly personalized newsletter like this (that does not go through a review, editing, or another external input process) is that some of these things will fall through the cracks. I am confident that I will make many more mistakes if we manage to keep this newsletter going, and I hope you continue to help me correct them.

For this newsletter, I initially planned to write about achievement, especially from two opposing angles of anti-establishment and social conformity. But I'm no longer up for it. When I'm learning x thinking about something interesting that I don't want to forget, I record a voicenote talking about it. And someday (usually when preparing to write or speak somewhere), I go back and listen to check if there's anything relevant worth sharing.

I just listened to the achievement voicenote, and meh. Sounds too strong, too stressful, too in-your-face. Can I make it into an article someday? Yes. Today? No.

Okay, what now?

Let's talk about something else I've been learning x thinking about, failure.

So why do we fail?

** NB: My usage of failure in this newsletter is not literal. ‘Fail’ here can mean ‘not win’ or ‘not fulfil potential for success’.

** another NB: I just googled NB. It stands for nota bene, which is note well in Latin. Interesting how we use words we don't know the actual meaning of.

I am fairly scatterbrained right now, but you gats manage am laidattt.

My thoughts on two (of the many reasons) why we fail.

Leggo.

We're not ready to lose the success we have

This is perhaps the biggest reason ‘successful’ people ‘fail’.

I recently watched Ken Norton's speech at Mind The Product 2015, and he said something that stood out to me. I don't remember the exact words (and have not the time to rewatch the video), but he said something like this.

When I advise small companies to take a risk on an exciting new product, they all come up with a valid excuse.

‘Oh we're not big yet, still small and making very little success. We can't afford to waste time and money on a project that might end up being for nothing. It's better to focus on our business model that is showing progress. If we were already a big company, then we could have taken the risk.’

And I say okay, fair enough.

Then I move to larger corporations and advise them on what exciting projects to invest in, and they have an equally valid excuse.

‘Ken, there's no way we can do that right now. We're a public company, accountable to our investors. We also have thousands of staff and partners who are relying on the success of our current operations. If we were a startup that could easily ship and fail in silence, then this would have been a great idea.’

I found this super interesting. Like drugs or chocolate cake, success is addictive. People who are fortunate enough to get some of it crave more and more and more. And in all honesty, nobody wants to lose the success they have to experiment with something that may or may not work out.

But is this the right approach?

Of course not.

As a company, there is always someone somewhere making plans to takeover your market. You produce oil? Someone is working on renewables. You make airplanes? Someone is working on a hyperloop. You run an investment management company? Someone is working on an app to identify financial opportunities and automate investments.

The only way to stay relevant is to be that someone. Work on the things that will put your current operations out of business.

Always be ready to lose today's success.

We don't like embarrassment

Growing up, I really loved football. With how rarely I play now, it is sometimes hard to remember there was such a time. During many many break times at school, I always convinced Musty x Adelabu to join me to play football outside. And it was almost never with an actual ball, much more likely with an empty bottle we had filled with sand. And when we went to camps during the holidays, my friends could be sure that AbdulHameed would bring a ball (an actual ball lol).

Image from Springer

But whenever a game headed to a penalty shootout, I was nervous. I rarely signed up for the first shot or second shot or even third shot. My default plan was to wait and see. If my team members all scored their shots and the other team had lost a few, then we won without me needing to take a (potentially game-losing) shot. On the other hand if all my teammates were missing the shots, then the outcome of my penalty didn't matter too much. If I scored, then I could help fix the scoreline. If I missed, then many people missed before me.

Some 10+ years ago, it felt like a good strategy. Looking back, all I see is a kid that didn't want the embarrassment of losing the game-deciding shot.

I was too scared to fail.

Ironically, I think this is perhaps the biggest reason people fail. Companies are reluctant to announce ambitious plans, because what if they don't meet them? People are too reluctant to shoot their shot, because what if he/she says no?

We don't want the embarrassment of failure, so we become content with a present that is not ideal. Well, my approach to penalties has evolved quite a bit. I may not always take the first shot, but now it is determined by who is most likely to score (and win for the team) rather than electing to take a later shot because I'm afraid to miss.

What changed?

Game after game after game, I watched my teammates lose the earlier shots and the team lose the game without getting the opportunity to kick the ball. I realized I was much more content taking a shot (win or lose) than losing anyway when I could have done something about it.

“Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” - Michael Jordan

As you begin your new week, I hope you think about what previous personal or professional ‘success’ is holding back your future development, and begin to make plans to break away from that identity.

And when you get the ball in your hand with the buzzer about to go off, take the shot my dear.

Take the shot.

—————

If you found this newsletter useful, please share it with your friends. Have them read it and subscribe. I like to share personal stories and life lessons I am learning. They will be super random, but common themes will include business, personal development, human relationships, and Islam.

Gracias, and see you around.

Hameed