On facing rejections, staying visible, and my fascination with the Google guy.

'And whenever I walked into a room full of white men as a young black woman, I did not think of myself as alone. I always believed that I carried on my shoulders all of my proud black ancestors.'

Hi guys,

Hope you are well. I’m doing okay, Alhamdulillah.

I had a different plan for starting this newsletter, but I just finished reading an article that moved me. And when something touches me like that, I struggle to think about anything else. It takes up all available mental space and dominates my thoughts until either something else moves me or the forces of life pull me in another direction.

When I initially saw ‘On Getting Into Google’ by Ayomide Oyekanmi, I thought, ‘Meh, another of those articles from our LinkedIn starboys. Good for him.’

But as more and more people shared it, I thought, ‘Okay either this guy is really popular or this is a really good article.’

The irony of being someone who actively creates content (whether a YouTube channel, podcast, artwork, newsletter, etc), especially when combining with a full-time job/student life, is that you rarely get time to consume other people’s content. As you struggle to balance your life while keeping your content production going, you filter out 80% of non-relevant consumption.

Especially since he was not someone I knew personally and I had no intention of joining Google in the short-term (if you work in Google I’m just joking hire me plis!!!), my default would have been not to read that article. But eventually, it won me over. And boy am I glad it did.

If you are someone with whom the words success, failure, drive, rejection, tenacity, and empathy resonate in any way, you need to read the article.

Disclaimer: It is looooong. I read it in three sittings over 2 days because I just did not have the time to read it in one go. But it is well worth it. If you can, please read it after this one.

Anyhoo, my guess is a number of you would refuse to check the link, so I’m randomly going through a few points that stood out for me. Your takeaways might be vastly different from mine. I will expand some based off what he wrote, and on some I will go on a completely different tangent. It is completely random.

1. ‘Boldness is not an alternative to preparedness’

Everybody knows at least one person who is quick to speak. In every event, they are ready to jump on the Q&A session. When a Professor/boss says something, they always have a comment - whether in agreement or disagreement, it doesn’t matter. Speaking anyway is their default.

And the truth is that boldness will take you far in life. Because the most visible people will always get access to opportunities.

As a CEO, who do you promote?

The visible person of course.

The person who appears to be hardworking, knowledgable, and a ‘leader’. This is why many genuinely talented professionals who work in the back office (behind the scenes e.g. IT Support, Procurement, etc) do not get huge leadership roles. Frankly, they are nowhere near as visible as people who work in Sales, Investment Banking, Client Relationships, etc.

So, being bold definitely has its merits. It helps you get noticed, and it puts your foot in the door. But there is a difference between appearing to know your stuff and actually knowing your stuff. While being bold might put you in the pool of candidates who have access, it does not give you the ultimate goal. It is no longer about dressing well, speaking well, and looking good. Can you actually answer the question? Can you do the work? Did you put in the effort? Did you read the briefing before the meeting? Can you enumerate on the challenges with the report?

This is what preparedness is. For whatever it is you are chasing in life, you need to combine some form of boldness (speaking up, shot-shooting, etc) with preparedness (putting the effort to actually know your shit). Otherwise, you go cast las las.

2. ‘Desperation and nervousness don’t go hand in hand’

I am fortunate enough to have a father who is a wise man.

** beginning of long side note/rant **

While Yoruba culture likes to believe that every older person is ‘wise’, I frankly disagree. I have met some older people who are probably quite foolish. Part of the problem of our culture is that it is possibly ‘rude’ to acknowledge that an older person can do something foolish.

I remember one conversation with my Mum a few years ago when an older person had just done something very foolish. Interestingly I no longer remember who it was or what they did. But it went something like this.

Me: Mummy what that man did is so foolish. Why on earth would he do that?

Mum: Abdul-Hameed, ma so be. Don’t say an older person is foolish, it’s not in our culture.

Me: I didn’t say he was foolish Mum, I said what he did was foolish.

Mum: Ehn it’s still the same thing. Ma so be.

Me: Okay sorry I've heard. But wasn’t it foolish?

Mum: Erm yes, but we don’t need to say it.

Me: Alright Mummy, I wouldn’t say it.

** end of long side note/rant **

And one of the things my Dad says regularly is ‘Don’t put yourself in desperate situations, because a desperate man has no philosophy.’

I heard it many times over the years, but I was never sure I fully understood it. What does it mean, a desperate man has no philosophy?

What I realized over time is when you get too desperate for something, you lose all sense of self. You lose all sense of judgement or right and wrong, just so you get that one thing. For some people, it is an obsession with travelling abroad and japa-ing. While there’s nothing bad with the yearning for a better environment, a high level of desperation for this goal puts many people into trouble.

This is why thousands of people unknowingly enter slave trade (yes, till today!) while seeking illegal means to go abroad. Or they enter on a holiday visa and begin to take unlawful employment. It is why your Aunty Bukky that went to the UK twenty years ago still hasn’t come to visit at Ibadan. She is afraid immigration will nab her if tries to return after travelling home for holidays.

For some, it is desperation to be in a marriage/relationship. So people sacrifice their standards and allow any man/woman to enter/stay in their lives, causing emotional (or even physical) damage in the name of ‘love’.

And we are all victim. At different points, we are so desperate for one thing or another. It is important to never be so desperate for any one thing that our judgement is completely clouded and we can no longer take whatever we think is the right decision. For Ayomide in the article, a combination of nervousness and desperation blew an opportunity he had worked so hard for.

My personal hack is to remind myself of the following anytime I fear desperation has gotten a hold of me.

‘I will be fine without this job. I will be fine without this Visa. I will be fine without this opportunity. I will be fine if I fail this exam. I will be fine without this person.’

It is extremely difficult to do, and sometimes even I struggle to believe it in the moment. But ultimately as time passes, I have always found it to be true. My rizq comes from Allah, not any particular company/person/opportunity.

3. ‘And when you want something, all of the universe conspires in helping you achieve it’

If you have read Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist, these words should be familiar to you. Personally, I found the book super boring and rarely understood what the hype was all about. But I have to admit that there were a few gems, and this statement is one of them.

I genuinely believe that when someone wants something, puts in the work and is persistent, whatever they were looking for will come to them. The vast majority of us either A - do not want it bad enough to publicise our search, or B - are not persistent. We put in the work for it today and then forget about it/put minimal effort for several months.

Let’s say Shade is a highly talented young lady looking for employment. She wants not just any employer, but a highly reputable company solving difficult problems and cares about its employees. The benefits must be great, the industry must be exciting, the people must be driven, but empathetic and down to earth. There must be extensive training and development, with opportunities to grow within or outside the firm. Shade doesn’t just want a job, she wants fulfilment in her career. And since she has savings and an Instagram business, she will not settle for just any job. Anybody that wants to employ her must tick all the boxes.

On the other hand, let’s say Urban is a $100m FinTech scale-up working on mobile money solutions in developing countries around the world. Even though they are in 17 markets, they only have 35 employees. They interview a lot but hire only very talented people so few people get an offer. Since they have a small team, they are very close-knit. They have a great office culture and pay everybody amazing benefits. They want people who will drive the business forward as they open in new markets, deal with regulators, and pursue opportunities to acquire/be acquired. They have several workshops/trainings for employees and even pay for staff to leave the company for educational reasons and return. But they don’t want to recruit just anybody, the employee must tick all the boxes.

In a perfect market (the inner economist in me is so happy lol), if Shade and Urban both put in the work (as per ticking the boxes for the other party), and stay visible (as per Urban maintaining social media and publicizing their recruitment efforts while Shade is active in making professional connections, applying for jobs and putting herself out there), they will eventually find each other.

Maybe by merit, maybe by referral, or maybe Shade just happens to be in the right place at the right time (Like Mike meeting Harvey in Suits). Ultimately, both Shade and Urban get what they want.

And this is valid not just for a job search, but just about anything on earth you are looking for. If you want it bad enough and put in the work/stay visible, all of the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.

4. ‘Your kind words, gifts, comforting arms, and boundless love were a source of strength for me’

Togther, we are immensely powerful - Image from Insider Monkey

One thing I disagree with is the idea of anybody being ‘self-made’.

Some years ago, I was preparing to write an exam but I had forgotten to take my medication. As someone who has been on daily allergy medication for the last 5 years, it is quite important that I take it. Otherwise, well…It’s like playing dice. Things may be fine or they may be not so good.

Anyhoo, I’m fairly lazy about taking my medication on a regular day (I haven’t taken it today for example). But whenever it’s an important day (e.g. travelling, exams, important meeting, etc), I never want to roll the dice.

After I remembered upon arriving my exam hall that I was out of medication and needed to take it, someone came through for me. D rushed to a pharmacy, got my drugs and a bottle of water, and arrived JIT - just in time. It might have seen like a trivial thing and I’m sure D has forgotten this episode, but it was far from it for me.

At the end of the day, there are people behind-the-scenes who create an enabling environment for success. For Ayomide, it was his parents, girlfriend, friends from the internship, and others. For me, it is a number of amazing people who do everything from mentoring me to being a shoulder to cry on/rant to to making dua. So how on earth can I, Ayomide, or anybody else be ‘self-made’?

My unsolicited advice is simple. Identify your support system. All the people you care about and care about you. List them out if you want. Call them, check on them, listen to them, support them. On the other hand, cry to them, request from them, complain to them. The emotional support you get from this community is invaluable.

In them, you shall find strength.

I once heard Oprah say, ‘And whenever I walked into a room full of white men as a young black woman, I did not think of myself as alone. I always believed that I carried on my shoulders all my black ancestors. Together, we were immensely powerful.’

I don’t remember her exact words, but they were something along those lines. And since I heard those words, I began to think of myself as the exact same. As I nervously prepare for meetings, interviews, difficult situations and whatever else, I sometimes remind myself of the following.

I am not one young, Black, Muslim man. I am hundreds of young, Black, Muslim people who are smart, talented, and prepared. We do not take no for an answer and we will get a positive outcome.

You know why?

Because together, we are immensely powerful.

—————

If you found this newsletter useful, please share it with your friends. Have them read it and subscribe. I like to share personal stories and life lessons as I learn. They will be super random, but common themes will include business, personal development, human relationships, and Islam.

Gracias, and see you around.

Hameed

** Jara content:

And when things do not work out (as they very often will not), I try to remember this hadith.

Abu Sa’id al-Khudri reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “There is no Muslim who calls upon Allah, without sin or cutting family ties, but that Allah will give him one of three answers: He will quickly fulfill his supplication, He will store it for him in the Hereafter, or He will divert an evil from him similar to it.” They said, “In that case we will ask for more.” The Prophet said, “Allah has even more.”

Allahuma baligna Ramadan. May we live to see this year's Ramadan and many more.

Have a great week. ✨