Emeka na smart boy so na smallz

"Fam get out of here with Dangote talk, he was born into money."

Hi guys,

Hope you are well. I’m doing okay, Alhamdulillah.

If we have been in contact recently, you probably know that I am tired. My life has consisted of several moving parts in the last few weeks and I have been trying my hardest to stay on top of them.

But sometimes fulfilling your commitments to yourself is more important than fulfilling commitments to others, and that is why I am writing this with my curtains down, lights off, and lying in bed at 3:49 pm.

Update: It is 6:02 pm and here I am, back in the same spot, trying to do the same thing. I am paraps getting much too comfortable delaying this newsletter till later in the day, but ah well.

Update Update: It is 9:11 pm. I prayed Isha not long ago and am currently missing a very important catchup on Google Meets with some of my closest friends to continue writing this newsletter for a little bit. They will not be happy about it but I think (read: hope) they will understand.

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Earlier today, I had a phone call with someone I last interacted closely with back in early August. Reaching out to him today primarily meant one thing - swallowing my pride.

This is because what I requested from him today was something he offered a long time ago, which I had turned down. And I did so then for good reason. But as my needs continually evolve (especially in light of the things I hope to achieve in the near future), it is in my interest to be more flexible.

You see, when we admire people with some semblance of success, we tend to think one of two things.

1. That they are highly talented.

"Bro did you hear that Chukwuemeka won a scholarship for his PhD?"

"Mad mad, good for him. Emeka na smart boy so na smallz for him."

“Yeah it's the best Engineering school in Germany, and it is fully funded!”

"Bro all this one na normal. No be Emeka get A for Mowete course? Na so the boy be."

"Ehen, I'm happy for him sha.”

2. That they are highly fortunate.

“Fam I'm so happy for Dangote. His net worth increased by $2bn in the past 2 months."

"Fam get out of here with Dangote talk, he was born into money."

“Yeah sure, but he don try my bro."

"Abeg miss me with that. His family were multimillionaires from Day 1 and they gave him a lot of money to start. Maybe his uncle or grandfather, I don't remember.”

"True true. But he has been able to make so much more for himself."

"See me I don't regard all these billionaires. Bezos had rich parents. Bill gates had rich parents. Even Otedola's father was former Governor of Lagos. I no regard any of them."

"Wo that's your own business. Me I stan Dangote sha."

Image from Business Insider

You know the problem with both these thought processes?

They help us to undermine just how much effort 'successful’ people put into their achievement, just because they had slightly above-average talent or more financial support along the way.

To become a doctor, the average medical student spends years and years reading, writes several exams, and spends a ridiculous amount of time in hospitals on call, etc etc. This amount of effort is relatively independent of natural intellectual ability or financial status.

Do you know any body that came out of the cradle and naturally knew how to treat patients with fibroid or acid reflux because they were 'smart'?

Similarly, the number of hours of required reading does not change just because your parents are relatively well-off. While you will likely read in much more comfort (fan/AC room vs candle light) than some of your peers, the effort/number of hours required to consume academic content is largely the same.

Like many people, I have a lot of respect for underdogs, 'average’ people who overcome numerous life challenges to 'succeed’. But our admiration for the 'do-not-haves’ should not then lead to contempt for the more fortunate.

As my people say, 'If na so e easy reach, you sef do am.'

** Jara content:

رَبَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنفُسَنَا وَإِن لَّمْ تَغْفِرْ لَنَا وَتَرْحَمْنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ

Our Lord! We have wronged our own souls: If thou forgive us not and bestow not upon us Thy Mercy, we shall certainly be lost - [7:23]

Have a great week. ✨