Do it anyway, nobody cares about you

Plus: It's the strong swimmers who drown

Hi guys,

Hope you're well. I'm doing okay, Alhamdulillah.

I write this at 8:58 a.m. on a warm Sunday morning, after what has been a very long week. As you probably know, life has made my writing much less frequent than it used to be, and I've genuinely missed being on here. I now know better than to promise future consistency, but I'm just happy to be doing one of my favourite things today. 😀

Let's dive in.

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Do it anyway, nobody cares about you

A few months ago, I ran into an old friend (acquaintance?) on a train. Amazingly, we had graduated from the same secondary school and university around the same time, what now feels like forever ago.

** side note: Perhaps unlike for some people who went to private schools, being in the same graduating set did not mean much in terms of friendship or proximity. My SS3 graduating class had well over 300 people, and my entire university graduating set, well, was about 8,000 people.

Running into him on a random train far from home was different though, and I was excited to see him. It went something like this.

Me: Alex!! (not real name)

Him: *looks up from his phone…huh?

Me: Alex! How's it going??

Him: *struggling to recognize me…I'm good, how are you?

Me: I'm good too…It's Hameed :)

Him: *still struggling to figure out who or what a Hameed is

Me: Hameed! Abdul Hameed! We went to school together

Him: Oh yeah! How's it going now? What are you doing here?

Me: I'm good o…

And so we continued chatting for the next 10 minutes or so, and exchanged numbers just before he got off the train.

But you know what…I genuinely don't think he still had any recollection of who I was! I think at some point he just decided to pretend he remembered me to make things less awkward. 🤣🤣

It was a shocker for me. I've been a somewhat visible x memorable person for most of my life (fortunately and unfortunately), and while I've definitely forgotten many people and been forgotten by many people over the years, I would not have put 'Alex' in that category.

** Side note: To be fair, I do look somewhat different than I did in secondary school, and my somewhat limited presence on social media in recent years has probably made me even easier to forget. 😅

One interesting thing about life is how we each see ourselves as the 'main actor' in the movie, with everybody else playing background roles who follow, support, and augment our story. But you know what? Nobody cares about your story because everybody else is too busy being a main actor!

My takeaway from this was to always do what I think is best for me, and not so much what others might expect.

• Want to quit your prestigious and well-paying job to go all in on your side hustle?

• Want to end your 5-year relationship with a girlfriend everyone knows you with?

• Want to start wearing a hijab but are afraid of what people might think?

Just do it! The people whose opinions you're worried about might not even notice.

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It's the strong swimmers who drown

While listening to an episode of Founder's podcast on Charlie Munger, I heard a fascinating statement. It's the strong swimmers who drown.

Image from AZ Quotes

Think about it. If a group of 5 swimmers went out into the ocean and started to experience strong waves, the weaker swimmers would be very likely to turn back.

'Omo this one pass me o, I dey go house.'

But you know who's most likely to keep on going, regardless of the signs they see? The strongest swimmers. The ones who know just how skilled they are.

‘Lol you dey go house for this small wave? Na smallz for me sha.'

I used to pride myself on my ability to multi-task. To always be involved in five or six organizations, businesses, or commitments (that few people knew about) alongside school or work. To go into every weekend with a long to-do list and many pre-scheduled meetings and phone calls.

But understanding that I was most definitely going to drown if I continued my default mode in light of new realities, I've recently been taking the opposite approach. I identify what three or four buckets of my life are most important, and give them as much as I can. And everything else, well, is everything else.

To be fair, I do think there is a balance to be found between both, and I'm still in the process of finding it. But in the meantime, whenever someone asks what I think of their plan to achieve A, B, C, D, E, and F all in one year, my response is the same.

It's the strong swimmers who drown.

** Jara content:

يٰزَكَرِيَّاۤ اِنَّا نُبَشِّرُكَ بِغُلٰم اۨسۡمُهٗ يَحۡيٰى ۙ لَمۡ نَجۡعَلْ لَّهٗ مِنۡ قَبۡلُ سَمِيًّا

(He was told): "Zechariah, We bring you the good news of the birth of a son whose name shall be Yahya (John), one whose namesake We never created before.

قَالَ رَبِّ اَنّٰى يَكُوۡنُ لِىۡ غُلٰمٌ وَّكَانَتِ امۡرَاَتِىۡ عَاقِرًا وَّقَدۡ بَلَـغۡتُ مِنَ الۡـكِبَرِ عِتِيًّا

He (Zechariah) said: "My Lord! How can I have a boy when my wife is barren and I have reached an extremely old age?"

قَالَ كَذٰلِكَ​ۚ قَالَ رَبُّكَ هُوَ عَلَىَّ هَيِّنٌ وَّقَدۡ خَلَقۡتُكَ مِنۡ قَبۡلُ وَلَمۡ تَكُ شَيۡـئًـا‏

He answered: "So shall it be." Your Lord says: "It is easy for Me," and then added: "For beyond doubt, I created you earlier when you were nothing."

- Chapter 19 verses 7 to 9

Have a great week. ✨