Did life deal you a bad hand? Read this.

After spending some time in the shoes of the have-nots, my privilege is increasingly clear to me.

Sep 20, 2020

Hello guys,

Hope you are doing well. I’ve had a fairly interesting week. My to-do-list has grown and grown and I keep wondering how I’m going to do them. With all the other commitments that are due, I honestly shouldn’t even be writing this. But ah well, we go dey alright.

A few weeks ago, I was part of a business networking simulation exercise. I have changed some details to make it easier to understand, but the general concept is the same. It worked something like this. Everyone that was part of the training logged into a program and was randomly assigned a profile. Some profiles had a lot of resources and a large network, while some had very little resources and barely any friends. However, we all had a similar aim. We could only complete the game by achieving 3 specific resources. I fear I may be losing you, so I’ll attempt to illustrate it.

Hopefully this paints a clearer picture. So a participant in the game could randomly be assigned any profile from A to G. Someone assigned A for example, is only connected to person B. He/she cannot contact anybody else unless B helps. Meanwhile, someone assigned profile F is friends with D, C, E and G. He/she has been much more naturally favored than person A.

Back to the game. Some people were randomly given plenty resources e.g iron, gold, water, food etc while others were assigned little or nothing. To successfully complete the game, you needed to obtain 3 specific resources (let’s say food, gold and water) in 20 minutes. You were allowed to communicate with your friends but you had no idea how many friends or resources your friends had.

I was assigned profile B, so I had only two friends. Of course I didn’t know at the time, but A only had me while C had plenty friends. I was naturally assigned two resources, but only one of them was part of the three I needed. So I needed to communicate with A and C, hoping they needed the spare resource I had and could spare the two I needed to have a shot at completing the exercise.

I honestly don’t think this writing can paint the story of how nerve-wracking it felt. There was a countdown timer in sight so you could tell how much time you had left. In any game (or endeavour really), I’m in it to win it. So I desperately wanted to obtain all resources. 20 minutes seems like a long time, but when you account for 5+ minutes of understanding the instructions and then all the random waiting periods, it wasn’t so long.

I quickly reached out to A and C.

‘Hey. I have water and gold, but I need gold, iron and food. What do you have? Can we swap?’

A: typing…

A: I have food and iron, but I need them both. I can give you food, but I need gold. Swap?

This would not have been a good deal. I would have swapped gold (a key resource I needed) for food, another key resource I needed. I would still have only one of three key resources.

I texted C again.

‘You haven’t replied, what’s up?’

C: typing…

Why was C taking so long to reply?

C: Hi. Okay I have food and need water. Swap?

Me: Yes, thanks!

We swapped. Now I had food and gold, but still needed iron.

Meanwhile, I was receiving notifications as people were completing and leaving the simulation. How could they finish so quickly?

I texted A again.

‘How far your iron? I now have food and gold. What do you need?’

A: typing…

A: I can give you iron, but I need copper. Do you have it?

Me: Nah I don’t have copper, let me ask.

I texted C.

‘Hey I need copper for my friend so he can give me iron. Do you have copper?’

More notifications. People were finishing and completing the exercise.

C: typing….

C: typing…

I was going crazy. Who was C talking to? Why did he/she always take 5 years to reply?

Me: ????

C: Okay I can get you copper from a friend. But I need your gold.

Shit what to do now? I needed my gold too.

Me: I need my gold. Maybe just send the copper? I only have two friends

More notifications. Almost everybody had finished the game. Time was almost up.

C: typing…

C: I have everything I need. Talking to my friends to see what I can get for you.

C: typing…

C: Don’t worry send your gold so I can get you copper for your friend. I’ll get another gold and send to you from a friend’s spare.

Me: *sends gold

Me: How far copper?

**Time up!

I finished the session feeling bad. I had obtained only food, and lost my gold for nothing. It was just a learning exercise really, but it had felt much too real.

In some way, this session modelled real life. Nobody has any control over whether their parents are rich vs poor, whether they are naturally tall vs short, or born in Canada vs Afghanistan. We all just arrive this earth with some randomly assigned blessings and disadvantages, so to speak. Interestingly, we all need something. I have never met someone who felt they had everything they needed in life.

Yes, even Cuppy is looking for something.😏

We live, work, learn and play searching for different things. Some of these things are general (everybody needs them), and some are specific for your situation and background.

Looking back, the session made me appreciate my privilege. Even though (like everyone else) I am searching for many things, I have been extremely favored in the things I have. As someone who has gotten used to having most of my needs met and a fairly wide network to come through when in need, it was difficult to be on the other side.

It has also made me recognize the efforts of the people who have been dealt a much worse hand in life, but are still striving and searching anyway. You and I are no better than them. We did nothing to receive the life we have, so we have a responsibility to share and swap as many of our resources as possible to ease their affairs.

In Surah Ar-Rahman, Allah repeats a particular verse 31 times.

فَبِأَىِّ ءَالَآءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ

‘And which of the favors of your Lord will you deny?’

If you are reading this, you have been extremely favored.

You have a smartphone or personal computer. You also have (money for) internet.
You can read, you are literate. It is unlikely that you work as a gateman or a low-income fisherman in some rural area.
You are not hungry. Anybody genuinely starving will be out on the streets looking for something to eat, not reading an article by some random guy.
You are (likely) not sick or dying of cancer on a hospital bed.

I can go on and on. You can probably go on and on as well. As you go on with your day, be thankful for the things you have and be kinder to the have-nots in your environment.

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If you found this newsletter useful, please share it with your friends. Have them read it and subscribe. I like to share personal stories and life lessons I am learning. They will be super random, but common themes will include business, personal development, human relationships, and Islam.

Gracias, and see you around.

Hameed

*** side note:

Later, I realized C spent so much time typing because he had so many friends he was replying and making deals for. But from my initial viewpoint, he was just a bloody time waster. Make excuses for people, you have no clue what they are going through.💫