Boss, I’m so tired these days.

I am not quite sure I still want that life.

Hi guys,

Hope you are well. I’m doing okay, Alhamdulillah.

I write this as 8:41 pm on Sunday evening. It is not the latest I have started this newsletter, but I have to admit this is perhaps the least motivated I have been to put out content.

This weekend just flew past. And with multiple engagements and phone call commitments over the past two days, I am beginning a new week still very much in need of rest.

At some point in 2017, I remember expressing a similar frustration to one of my mentors.

Image from VideoHive

Me: Boss, I’m so tired these days.

Me: Between studying, student organizations, and random stuff I’m involved with, I don’t think I ever rest.

Me: Do you think I should pull out of some of these things?’

Him: Abdulhameed, you are still very young and this is the time to work hard.

Him: My approach to these things is simple. Unless you wake up every day tired, stressed, and worried about whether you can cope with what is on your plate, you’re not doing enough.

Him: Keep trying as much as you can to stretch yourself. This state you are in is exactly what you should be aiming for right now.

I couldn’t believe it.

I was reaching out to lament about my lack of rest, and his response was to keep it up??

Well, I took his advice. For most of my remaining time in school, I was juggling many balls. Sometimes I juggled them excellently, and sometimes a few important balls fell onto the ground.

Looking back, I have no regrets. I was fortunate to 'achieve' a lot as an undergraduate, and a large percentage of the friendships, goodwill and professional relationships I have today were nurtured back then.

But looking forward, I am not quite sure I still want that life.

I want to rest on weekends.

I want to go to the park and walk around for an hour.

I want to lie in bed and read books (shouting 'mad o' and randomly texting Malik) for 5 hours.

I want to cook beans while listening to a podcast.

I want to call my friends and family without the rush of needing to get off soon.

I want to spend a whole weekend and not check my work mail.

I want to binge-watch a new series/documentary on Netflix.

I want to try out new things. Art classes? Gun range? Theatre? Hiking? Baking?

I heard once that they are two ways to achieve success. Work very hard for a big goal, or dream a little smaller. The day you decide some of your goals are no longer as important, it becomes a lot easier to just breathe.

I have no clue what the coming months or years would be like for me. But I hope (read: pray) that I am more intentional about living a life of balance. And I hope the same for you.

** Jara content:

I saw an excellent quote this week on LFJ Tribe, and I feel no shame whatsoever in stealing it and sharing here with you guys. You should subscribe to the newsletter by the way.

It used to be said: Do not befriend anyone but one who, if you befriend him, will enhance you; if you are burdened with something, he will help you; if he sees a shortcoming in you, he will make it up for you; if he sees something good from you, he will keep it in mind; if you ask of him, he will give to you; if you refrain from asking of him, he will offer you (his help); if he blames you for something, he will not desert you; and if you keep your distance from him, he will not abandon you.

Taareekh Diimashq (68/236)

Have a great week. 💫